Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Throughout my life as a practitioner of the left hand path I have felt the need to cross over from life to death and test my mortal body be it sexually or through pain inflicted violence upon myself my soul to extremes. I have inflicted the violence of flesh penetration with sharp objects in variations of possession I have strangled myself until I have grasped for breath or had lovers strangle me until I am blue and lifeless to cross over and not fear penetration of the shell of flesh or death anymore . The closeness of spirit communication possession at point of death or extreme inflicted violent endurance’s to the physical body can allow ourselves to open the gateway of crossing over between life and death to the spirit world . Such aspects in voodoo and afro traditions are depicted as zombification were man or woman nolonger becomes in these extreme acts human but transfers themselves to a higher state of conscious to being the spirit to breaking through to the higher self SOUL.It is said in many forms of spiritual evolvement ritualistic acts using flesh hooks , piercing’s surface cutting of the skin allow through the cuts spiritual possession the spirits in though to myself such contrived s and m based forms of ritual are controlled and spiritual possession connection comes from uncontrolled instinctual acts inflicted upon ourselves without control. S & Ms connection with ritual magick through extremes is nothing new though what we find in the ability as stated violent acts upon our bodies is the ability to transgress to the spirit realm through the merged lines between sex creation and death to crossover .This is especially true of workings regarding Ghedhe Nibbho who represents full masculinity traits of destruction and a gateway to the land of the dead . Nibbho possession acts frequently as a way to crossover through extremes to the gateway that separates humanity humanistic beliefs and mortality to the spiritual realm of the dead . In Quimbanda the closest to the ghede or Nibbho is Rosa Caveria Exu and Pombia Gira of the graveyard bones lost souls , who act as spiritualist mediums between this world and the land of the dead communication between both worlds though in Nibbho possession we find a type of spirituality that breaks down the boundaries of being pure brutalised spiritualist communication . In that when possessed by Ghedhe Nibbho you self mutilate cut yourself and numb feel nothing but as close to crossing over to the world of the death as is mortally possible without any fear. It isn’t contrived s & m in that only the spirits know when to stop and whether through this zombification the man or woman possessed by such forces will crossover to the land of the dead permently or not . Crossing over is mainly for the most time a unbalanced act of masculine destruction .In that there is no male and female duality as in the twins of Ifa who represent balance of male and female energies or as in when working with Ezili Danto who is dualist in her nurture sexual creative qualities as well as her maculated need for violence and destruction , which is something attributed to working with pombia gira ,who also serves as a more balanced type of duality in being male and female in being all .These are all deities of the female at her full transexualised empowered aspect of being masculine and ,feminine creation and destruction , as the Ghedhe Nibbho are as male set aside by their attributes only expressing the masculated soul aspect of violence and destruction our whole male self .So if working with such as a devotional deity spirit can therefore in its elemental roots cause imbalance but also has his spirit uses in being able to break down our insecurities fears boundaries to crossover between the realms of life to death . In giving us as practitioners a extentialist out of body experience to experience through cutting the flesh or possession the world of the dead to be in touch with the fact as I said before the flesh is not precious and only a shell for our immortal soul , to break down our preconceptions of the importance placed upon human life ,to be possessed by the masculated full forces of death destruction soully to crossover from our own mortality.Such moments can be precious especially for a woman as although I have discussed the need for the woman to encompass all on the left hand path be all things in duality female sexuality softness and masculine aggression to reach her true as in the twins dualist enlightened form , sometimes absorption of possession of purely masculine traits aggression destruction acts as a learning tool to further development of becoming all or crossing over to the gender of masculinity fully for a time .And in rites of possession of such spirits we find the valuable lesson experience of fearless crossing over from mortality to death.
Monday, 23 May 2011
The Soul The Body Is The Temple , The Physical Temple Is The Street In The Urban Shamanism Of Our Postmodernist World
In the past elemental or shamanic practices in the right herbs natural not man made wilderness of ancestors we find the stereotypes of traditional shamanic traditions , though now as we move towards a more postmodernist world we learn to find divinity shaman nature in the cities the manmade .We learn to adapt our elemental natures to be everywhere to our modern world . For practioners of the arts the man made becomes our natural urban environment, in spirituality , we need but our bodies for possession soul from the spirits to be a vessel for transmissions be it in our words physical action or creatively through art . We need no other tools than ourselves to with base spirituality purism through transgression be all to the understanding of our full spiritual potential .The fact is now that natural shamanic traditions aline with nature are forgone for now nature has in modern society been replaced in most cases by the manmade and the cites are our elemental roots not the trees the fields for most of us living in the cities . So we must learn to adapt the natural aspects of practice artificial in these elements that are our postmodernist form of nature with the rooted aspects of the need like the shaman to use only the body the flesh the the soul the our true primeval untainted natures dictated by birth , that lays in unsuperficiality of being none manmade or elemental roots . Therefore the body replaces the need to see divine in the trees the rocks mother nature is but our imperfect humanistic selves . We learn to see life energies from the street to see the highways , the towerblocks as living breathing spiritual elements to attune ourselves with as nature now as divine as the running streams as our modern form of postmodernist wilderness of being at one with urbanised nature in the modern world.The modernworld evolves so does spirituality shamanism also nothing stays static and the strongest rituals are adapted worked in the living breathing now not the past or in our own environments .In my own practise I find the notion of nature ritual being in line with divinity a bygone notion I find urbanised practice on the move much more suited to genuine divine connection and of course practical.The cities buildings are now a part of our language environment magically or otherwise and to not acknowledge postmodernism as well as primitivism combined is none dualist and we need acknowledgement of everything to be all.In Gheudhe , Ezili Danto , Pombia Gira and Exu we find spirits although purist brutal savage elemental primitive in aspects ancient that transgress perfectly to urban shamanism of a city enviroment . In the packed graveyards , the crossroads of the cities , the alleyways of the dispossessed , the towerblocks we find places to practise our devotions in the city of vice . Transgression rites of passage initiations take place in the alleyways upon our knees , the formal ritualistic workings of such with the alter the right words replaced by initiation by in real life initiation through rites in our lives the street enviroment to connection to such spirits transgression through urban shamanic practices .The street becomes a spirit map , the street becomes a temple a playing field for development to connection of our true elemental natures capabilities .Rituals honour the gheudhe the dead in graveyards of drugaddicts prositutes of the dispossessed forgotten city dwellers, the city is nature to full spiritualist contact . The buildings tower above like trees and we see the soul the divine living in all these things the alleyways , the towerblocks , the streets our natural urbanised environments .Nature is postmodernism now nature is the cities now nature is manmade and celebrated in urbanism being mother nature now of being aline with spirituality divinity now.This is a type of postmodernist primitivism combined , in the streets we do not dismiss the knowlege of our ancestors in nature , ritual being specifically important in tradition instead we adapt our nature to our own ideology lives today inline with postmodernism , while attaining the primitive aspect of working as we feel natural instinctually all within our lives , or the primitive knowledge of knowledge that the body soul are the only tools we need for spiritual connection to the divine or passage to living in our own truth with integrity .
So that the body the soul becomes the main temple but outside of ourselves in ritual invocations , the street becomes the new working temple for the shaman . The street becomes our physical temple of the progressive idealogy of urban shamanism adapted to our postmodernist enviroment world .
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
To my mind modern esoteric education or classical esoteric logic has failed us in most aspects of becoming too outdated ritualistic dogmatic and metaphysical , we as occultists have placed too much importance on complex mindgames puzzles to gain entry to the spiritual world , too much emphasis on philosophical complex thought when in purity all we need for true gnostic spiritual enlightenment is the capability to find be in contact with one thing the soul.The soul is none dogmatic , not constrained by inferior moralistic restraints ,and the soul is for all , not just those with a degree in Kenneth Grant , grimorum verum interpretations . The truth is that you can have all these workings , you can stand in a room conducting ritual , have a million initiations into dead cults but in the now all that matters is one thing connection with the soul which is all . In esoteric voodoo , afro traditions such as palo , Quimbanda and Ifa a great importance is placed upon the mambos need to be pure soul to reach , his or hers ultimate united spiritual state , like in the TOTO were the ultimate spiritual development ends with communication with the guardian angel so does in these cultures ultimate spirituality end in the eveloment of having a soul . The soul though is not interpreted in such rough systems as westerners interpret such as being conformed to societies moralistic dictations of living a good life or being good or evil , the soul is undogmatic , the soul in such religions is attunement celebration of ALL , in that nothing holds any porfane preconceived judgment in that good bad work together as the same .In this way it is easily to resign this type of ideology practise to the left hand path form of religion belief system though it is darkness light in being combined neutral united polar opposites of the right hand path also . To myself development of the soul starts with the simplistic notion of having a full life , or feeling , experiencing all things of being able to connect with all aspects of humanity in its full brutal glory life of never shunning away from anything of being open to all and seeing all lifeforms as valid as eachother , all experiences , seeing death violence , sex , love softness everything as having its place as beautiful in our grounded elemental world equal .The soul is our purist form life the spirits it seeks no solace in judgment the soul is open and unshackled to the material world , anybody can be connection with the soul from the highest king to the poorest beggar , in that its riches are for all . The soul knows no bounds and all you need is the ability to be open appreciate all life , forms of life as beautiful to celebrate all see beauty in the ugly and to know all these things in life make ourselves as human beings even our worse experiences actions all radiate some transcendence to higher wisdom in our truth to our soul.If you know such you ‘ve probly learnt more in such simplistic knowledge about true communication with the spirits a higher state of consciousness awareness than reading a million dead books by dead occultists who over complex the only thing we need is to be fearless in our truth to have full creative expression of our soul.Talk and intellectualisation is fine but actual action physical life evolvement action only will open the gateway to our soul .Experiences to be emotively connected in rooted truth to everything , to be naked to embrace all states of humanistic fragility .In my truth the soul is the new religion , connection with such is simplistic and can if you are open be gained by all .In true spirituality all we need is evolvement of the soul our true natures .
Sunday, 15 May 2011
One of my first experiences of being rode by the spirits was through the medium of dance while working in the soho clip joints aged fifteen . During this time stripping I would often feel my body jerk to the music as if sexually possessed I would feel entranced in a experience of out of body eroticism . Now I realise a lot of the time while engaging in such I was being rode by the lwa the spirits in a animalistic primal state of ecstasy .When being possessed or rode we hold no constraints of shame embarrassment , usually confined to our mundane lives and through possession in crowded rooms or taking my clothes off infront of strangers I never felt ashamed exposed or violated . I felt entranced unaware that others were watching unaware of myself and I was not myself I was reborn compulsive shameless. Such possessions we never forced but I would feel my body wither out of sensual control in a kind of orgasmic subconscious state and I knew I was rode into submission into being free in all my animalistic sensual glory of communication with such .I danced in doorways feeling a elevated form of eroticism I never felt exploited or demeaned because in spiritual communication possession such elements do not exist . I think my first experiences of primal spiritual possession through the motion of the body to elevated eroticism to being rode by the gods that was the first time I stripped off . I remember it well not the actual dance because I was entranced out of my own body in that instance out of control but the way it happened , the walls of the tacky lovehearted velvet trashy rooms with a torn makeshift curtain pulled across while a man aged about sixty asked me to strip off in a school uniform it was kind of perverse and at fifteen espically as I look young now I defiantly then looked well under age , anyway I remember stripping but being totally emursed by a feeling of being other out of my body of being possessed by the experience to a state of animalistic ecstasy it was being ridden without shame exposed by the gheude lwa consumed by a glowing flaming heat of eros lust I was nolonger myself , I was animated vibrantly vivid and set alight by the heat of being rode like in sex into submission . Gheudhe lwa are known for their need to be sexualised to expose their genitals for their implusive animalistic gestures dancing this is way this fits into the aspect of being ridden by maman Brigitte gheudhe lwa , they are also a bridge between sexuality , death and all primalised sexual gestures belong to are connected to possession by these type of raw elemental spirits .A lot of the time spiritual possession in such states feels like sex with the spirits in that as a woman if you on all fours being taken by a man from behind you too also are in being fucked in these type of positions being rode ,rode into another form of primal eroticism heightened out of body states .
Crude animalistic crawling on all fours with my legs parted , of animalistic gravitating of no precivilised modesty entranced elemental none restraint none caring.
Gravatating your body feeling in orgasm with penetration with only exalted body movement sensual pleasure in this instance it took me a time to snap out of possession with the other girls telling me the man had got what he paid for now I could put on my clothes .In my normal mind I could not imagine even though sexually confident not feeling conscious of my appearance body this is human nature we all have it no matter how confident we are or exposed but in possession such things become immaterial and the trance of dance and erotic primitivism takes over any insecurities. We may have because at such moments we are not ourselves we are possessed by a higher divinity a spiritual presence that knows no bounds , we are fire we are hot we transcend all notions of human enforced boundaries or our own fears that in life hold us back from forfilling our true natures and true unrestrained freedom of creative animalistic expression .Dance is the root of everything in that sex is but a dance also and it starts with the body only , the body is a temple , the only thing we need alone for our existence or as a vehicle to a rooted elemental communication with the spirits .The body the flesh is the start , in birth , the end in death it is everything , the body is begins and ends all rituals , therefore in the motion of possession we understand that only through the body can we as a tool transcend our self’s animalistically to a entranced hyper level of consciousness through possession and the importance of spiritual possession through the medium of dance .
When looking at female beauty we look to airbrushed perfection doll like manufactured the image of what we in society deem as superficial stereotype images of skin level perfection , beauty is physical perfection though beauty has many aspects physically and inwardly and in life and spirituality to my mind the only female beauty worth of harnessing possessing is that of the broken beauty the savaged beauty of Pomba Gira . True beauty just as the ego has to be broken to transgress to in our humble state to our true soul precivilised self in touch with the purity of the brutality of human condition our fears our fragilities our truth also needs to be in humanism , spiritualism beauty needs to be broken also to transcend to a level of true inside out beauty .True beauty is about exposing all our defects in truth or found in the seduction of none physical unbridled admittance of none physical perfection . Beauty is found in our decaying ageing flesh in our scars , in our broken teeth in all things which tell the story of our lives , that in our confrontation with mortality , beauty is broken because only the broken have true stories worthy of telling , no worthy story of a goddess is found in airbrushed perfection , in the broken the experienced in Pomba Gira we find superiority laying in societies lowly . Standing at the T junctions , crossroads between life and death , the roads of runaways coming into the city to prositution , the roads of the spirits of the street hustlers that live upon them , all which possess in their appearance a broken beauty , torn between age and innocence the beauty seduction of the crack whore calling out with no front teeth for business their close to death close to sexuality for all these children possess the broken beauty which is a real beauty , the broken beauty of pomba Gira . There is something still beautiful holy in all espically in the fact that all of these are free of civilised constraints , even the haggard savaged prositute on her knees in a alleyway off the t junctions contains a certain amount of sensuality beauty in that her beauty transcends to a higher level of broken true beauty of knowing the harshest aspects of human fragility the ugliness of the human condition of knowing the harshness and softness of life of knowing violence of knowing death of knowing sex in creation of possessing full wild knowing broken beauty.These are pomba Gira s chosen ones not the highclass escorts or models glamour pouting on celebrity fashion magazines or stereotypical conservative beauties highstreet types posing on facebook , this is her beauty which is far superior the beauty of sadness a full bloodied beauty of the broken and beauty found in the ghettos in the most unconventional places , beauty in the disparaged the animalistic the pure . To look upon the face that possesses hardness , as well as softness to look upon the soul of the unloved the abandoned those ravaged by in physical perfection is to knee and pray to Pomba Gira and all these things are more valid worthy than any of the pervious sterotypical forms of beauty discussed deemed what profane society finds beautiful because these things are plastic superficially hold no substance and true beauty has the depth of imperfection of the broken in Pomba Gira .As a society we are scared , scared of none perfection , of the none clinically airbrushed tied down to none real aspirations of what beauty is to be , scared of aging , scared of the truth which lays in radiating inperfection of the broken beauty and to my mind the only female beauty worth possessing is the broken beauty of pomba Gira .
Ezili Danto and Pomba Gira Tantric Goddesses of The Art Brut
While recently painting I have found much affinity with possession of Ezili Danto and Pombia Gira hardcore tantra godesses of the Art Brute . Possession of being rode by either deities is raw harsh tantric sexuality , in painting the need for more aggressively directed brutality consuming violent sexuality the need for force makes these spirits perfectly applicablele to my work. I am scared like Danto I have scars on my face , from my pimp exboyfriend , I have scars on my body from attacks and self mutilation of drug use , I have force of lust of brutality inflicted upon my body through ritualistic transgressive states of extreme like Bataille . I feel encompassed in a form of elemental animalistic LUST tantric energy directed to core of the earth and nature . Ravaged by my insaitable sexual hunger my yearnings , my need to be erotically and violently forfilled by force , force of my directed intention , force to own my own sexuality , force of being at one with my mirror image of my brutal sexualised none idealised self.I want to express not only in my work death destruction violence but creation sexuality also as although both things are polar opposites they are the same combined and one thing can not exist without the other complementing it perfectly as its partner in spirituality or life . In ezili Danto worship we acknowledge such the need for brutal force the need for raw unbridled sexuality the need to be scared yet beautiful as women in our full humble transexualisesd form of being everything at the same time .Tantra is not just about practically sustaining orgasm for sexual directed energy , tantra in Ezili Danto can also be about harassing wrathful feirce sexual energy of sexuality out of control human confines without any limits of our base erotic nature face down rapid brutal and filthy of harsh sexual force this is another less disclosed form of tantra .Tantric energy at its peak of aggression of brutality of violence .These elements are not so different from the iconic Kali wielding a blade sex and death creation and mortality that have been fleeting have long enjoyed a meeting of minds in being a killer combination . What I do find though is when being rode by the lwa in regards to my artistic expression is through possession of Danto or invocation of Pomba Gira Quimbanda is a more existentialist vehicle in my art of tantric elemental ART BRUTE.The feelings of unsuppressed energy directed in force to a intense manifestation of elemental rooted sexualised tantra through ART.You do not ride the lwa Ezulie Danto rides you into the abyss worn out burned like flamed desire like a whirlpool dragging you under to the sensations of true expression of sexuality as it should be before civilised man utilised through the paint brush through the rawness of being fucked all night ripped bleed dry to be tantra unbridled without reigns to be animalistic tantra that knows no bounds of expression physically or artistically in expression .To be in my use possessed by Pomba Gira , Ezurlie Danto tantric Godesses of the Art Brute .